Sorry for the lack of a post from me last week; they're offering unlimited overtime at work, and doing my job is part of my service to the Goddess. By working, I support the household. Supporting the household isn't just caring for Her, it's self-care as well, and in case you haven't twigged to one of the major themes of this blog, it's that caring for yourself is service to the Goddess.
So last week was all about the job. I got some good stories out of it (being unspeakably busy in a technical support capacity usually results in decent stories, because you're dealing with people who...well, let me put it this way. I have had to do at least one walk through for "cut and paste the text into your file.") I got decent money, which will go towards nice things at home. And OT opportunities continue, although last week was probably a unique case as far as superhuman amounts of labor goes.
And I am happy with it all, because I know that She is proud of me. That's one of the special things about being a brainwashed submissive. Doing the right thing feels even better when you're doing it for Her.
Showing posts with label acts of devotion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label acts of devotion. Show all posts
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
When She's Gone
Lady Ru'etha is out of town this week, visiting some of Her other pets, so I'm kind of "on my own". In some ways, this is nothing new for us; for the first eight years or so of our relationship, we were in separate states, and so the long-distance thing is nothing new to either of us. (And I never forget how lucky I am to have Her close to me as much as I do; not everyone is able to see Her in person as much as I do, and I never begrudge them one second of the time She spends traveling to visit them. I only wish there was a way we could get everyone close enough to not feel that ache of knowing the person you love is so far away. But I have not yet won the lottery, and science is still no closer to inventing a practical teleporter, so we're stuck with what we have.)
The practical upshot of it all is that this isn't a "sniffle, I miss my Goddess" post, because I try to keep perspective on that, but it is a post about how things change when She's not here. Naturally, it means that I "batch it" to a certain extent...in general, while I don't go whole hog on that because we do have other people in the house even when She's gone, let's just say that pizza and video games feature a little more than cuddling and foot rubs while She's not here. :) I do make sure that my usual tasks are done, because She assigns things to me that are important and good for me, and Her care for me is here even when She is not.
The "sleeping alone" thing is less of a deal than it was, since She's started working nights and we both wind up in bed by ourselves unless one of us takes a mid-day/midnight nap; but when She's gone, it's a little bit more important to me to play Voice so that I can fall asleep listening to Her speak. Voice has always been a central part of Her relationship with all Her pets, a living and loving reminder of Her presence in our lives, and hearing it always helps me sleep so beautifully. (Ooh, that's a good idea for a "theme week". Everyone talks about Voice and what it means to them!)
She will be back on Thursday, and then it'll be just a couple of days before Copper comes up and spends some welcome time here with us. He's a good friend, and one of the many who are always welcome here.
The practical upshot of it all is that this isn't a "sniffle, I miss my Goddess" post, because I try to keep perspective on that, but it is a post about how things change when She's not here. Naturally, it means that I "batch it" to a certain extent...in general, while I don't go whole hog on that because we do have other people in the house even when She's gone, let's just say that pizza and video games feature a little more than cuddling and foot rubs while She's not here. :) I do make sure that my usual tasks are done, because She assigns things to me that are important and good for me, and Her care for me is here even when She is not.
The "sleeping alone" thing is less of a deal than it was, since She's started working nights and we both wind up in bed by ourselves unless one of us takes a mid-day/midnight nap; but when She's gone, it's a little bit more important to me to play Voice so that I can fall asleep listening to Her speak. Voice has always been a central part of Her relationship with all Her pets, a living and loving reminder of Her presence in our lives, and hearing it always helps me sleep so beautifully. (Ooh, that's a good idea for a "theme week". Everyone talks about Voice and what it means to them!)
She will be back on Thursday, and then it'll be just a couple of days before Copper comes up and spends some welcome time here with us. He's a good friend, and one of the many who are always welcome here.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Care of a Domme
Lady Ru'etha has been mildly ill the last few days--not anything that actually required a hospital stay, thank goodness, but She was flat on her back for a couple of days and needed care. This, too, is part of my service to Her; I had to balance it with my job, of course, because they don't really approve of giving you sick time because your sweetie is ill, but it was deeply important to me to help any way I could as part of my devotion to Her.
Honestly, ministering to Lady Ru'etha when She's ill is a lot like pampering Her when She's well, only to a greater degree and with even more tenderness. She needed food that wouldn't make Her stomach upset, so I made special trips to the grocery store for chicken noodle soup (and later on, when She felt a little better, chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. I did say it was a lot like pampering Her when She was well, didn't I?)
When She was lying in bed, I read to Her the same way I did when She was well, only this time for therapeutic purposes. I scritched Her back because the endorphins helped with the nausea and cramps; when She slept, I curled up with Her because I'm a natural bed-warmer and She was having chills. These are all things I do for Her when She's healthy, but they feel slightly different doing them for Her when She's sick.
She didn't respond the same way She does when She's healthy, of course. She was deeply grateful, but She wasn't able to muster up the energy to express it in a "Domme-y" sort of way. But you know what? That's kind of a wonderful part of having a D/s lifestyle instead of a D/s play relationship. You find that your respect and devotion to your top isn't reliant on what She can give you in return; it's a part of the love you share, and it's there always. It's special, and it's worth experiencing.
Even so, I'm glad She's feeling better. :)
Honestly, ministering to Lady Ru'etha when She's ill is a lot like pampering Her when She's well, only to a greater degree and with even more tenderness. She needed food that wouldn't make Her stomach upset, so I made special trips to the grocery store for chicken noodle soup (and later on, when She felt a little better, chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. I did say it was a lot like pampering Her when She was well, didn't I?)
When She was lying in bed, I read to Her the same way I did when She was well, only this time for therapeutic purposes. I scritched Her back because the endorphins helped with the nausea and cramps; when She slept, I curled up with Her because I'm a natural bed-warmer and She was having chills. These are all things I do for Her when She's healthy, but they feel slightly different doing them for Her when She's sick.
She didn't respond the same way She does when She's healthy, of course. She was deeply grateful, but She wasn't able to muster up the energy to express it in a "Domme-y" sort of way. But you know what? That's kind of a wonderful part of having a D/s lifestyle instead of a D/s play relationship. You find that your respect and devotion to your top isn't reliant on what She can give you in return; it's a part of the love you share, and it's there always. It's special, and it's worth experiencing.
Even so, I'm glad She's feeling better. :)
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Work as Service
It would be nice if we could escape the mundane concerns of the world and simply live in KinkWorld 24/7/365, enjoying each other's company and living in a full-time D/s relationship without having to deal with anything as dull as a job. But unfortunately, even for the kinky, bills need to be paid. So I have a job.
But as Lady Ru'etha has made clear, that too is part of my service to Her. Having a job is self-care and care for the family, part of my responsibilities to Her and to myself. When I pay the bills, that is a part of my service to Her (both in the sense of earning the money and in the sense of managing the finances.) It's not "financial slavery" in the sense that you'll sometimes see it used in a D/s context; that generally refers to the Dom/me taking money from the sub for frivolous purposes. The erotic charge (whatever there is--I'll confess I really don't "get" this kink) comes from knowing that the top is putting his/her selfish wants ahead of the time the bottom has spent earning that money.
This, though, is more about caring for my Lady and myself as expressed through making sure that the household functions. She is genuinely appreciative of my service, and has hypnotically conditioned me to remember that when I kiss Her goodbye and head off to work, I am serving her just as much as when I give Her a backrub or a foot massage. It really helps for those times when I'd much rather curl up with Her than go to work (which is every day, honestly) and reminds me that I am being a good boy even when I am away from Her.
Until that day when I'm a best-selling author who also won the lottery and inherited billions from Bill Gates. Then it's KinkWorld 24/7/365.
But as Lady Ru'etha has made clear, that too is part of my service to Her. Having a job is self-care and care for the family, part of my responsibilities to Her and to myself. When I pay the bills, that is a part of my service to Her (both in the sense of earning the money and in the sense of managing the finances.) It's not "financial slavery" in the sense that you'll sometimes see it used in a D/s context; that generally refers to the Dom/me taking money from the sub for frivolous purposes. The erotic charge (whatever there is--I'll confess I really don't "get" this kink) comes from knowing that the top is putting his/her selfish wants ahead of the time the bottom has spent earning that money.
This, though, is more about caring for my Lady and myself as expressed through making sure that the household functions. She is genuinely appreciative of my service, and has hypnotically conditioned me to remember that when I kiss Her goodbye and head off to work, I am serving her just as much as when I give Her a backrub or a foot massage. It really helps for those times when I'd much rather curl up with Her than go to work (which is every day, honestly) and reminds me that I am being a good boy even when I am away from Her.
Until that day when I'm a best-selling author who also won the lottery and inherited billions from Bill Gates. Then it's KinkWorld 24/7/365.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Cookies!
Tonight, sleepykitten and I baked chocolate chip cookies for Lady Ru'etha, and I served them to Her, still warm, with a glass of ice-cold milk.
Service to the Goddess isn't always fancy and ritualistic, but it's always fun. And frequently delicious!
Service to the Goddess isn't always fancy and ritualistic, but it's always fun. And frequently delicious!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Nothing Special, Just Something Special
Earlier this week (it would have been "today", but we had an outbreak of malware that prevented blogging for a little while) I picked Lady Ru'etha up from work, as I have been of late and we had a little breakfast together and snuggles. Then we went downstairs and She climbed into bed, and I sat down at the foot of the bed. She sort of settled Herself in, and I proceeded to rub Her feet gently, steadily, and soothingly.
She chatted sleepily with me for a few moments, and then She closed Her eyes and let Her head sink onto the pillow, and I just kept on very happily petting Her feet and legs. And after a little while, I heard soft, gentle breathing slowly turning into very light, very adorable snores and I knew that She had fallen asleep, feeling my love and my touch all the while. And only then did I get up, (attempt to) blog, and get ready for work.
The moment didn't give me any great insights to share with ya's, but it was so sweet I felt like I had to share it.
She chatted sleepily with me for a few moments, and then She closed Her eyes and let Her head sink onto the pillow, and I just kept on very happily petting Her feet and legs. And after a little while, I heard soft, gentle breathing slowly turning into very light, very adorable snores and I knew that She had fallen asleep, feeling my love and my touch all the while. And only then did I get up, (attempt to) blog, and get ready for work.
The moment didn't give me any great insights to share with ya's, but it was so sweet I felt like I had to share it.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
On Waking
Last time, I posted about the ways I help Lady Ru'etha to sleep. (Hint: Hypnosis is involved.) This time, though, I'd like to talk about the flip side of that--waking Her up. This is especially relevant since we were at a sci-fi con last weekend, and She frequently had to get up on very short sleep.
It's probably best to begin by mentioning that She is a very heavy sleeper. This is actually quite a useful thing at a con, of course, because most of them are not known for their restful and tranquil qualities. But it's also hard on Her, because once She does fall asleep, Her body is expecting to stay asleep for a full eight hours, if not more. (A rare, but exceedingly blissful luxury, is when the two of us sleep in each other's arms for ten or eleven hours.) She might set Her mind to wake up in four hours to take in a panel, but when She's in the middle of a sleep cycle, that's not easy for Her to pull out of.
Which is where I come in. It's my duty to continuously provide Her with stimulus that She can't ignore, helping Her find Her way out of the fog of sleep. And it has to be gentle stimulation, too. Absolutely has to. When She first wakes, Her conscious mind isn't fully engaged; She is dealing with events on a very primal level. Being abrupt or startling Her is very disturbing to Her, and although She will wake relatively quickly, the sensation of subconscious panic lingers for hours. I could never do that to Her, and anyone who does will have to deal with the wrath of a pudgy, balding thirty-something. :)
So what I try to do is gently and tenderly wake Her with constant contact, both physical and mental. I pet Her, I scratch Her back, I talk to Her in quiet tones...not always about anything specific, just letting Her know that the person who is with Her is someone who cares about Her deeply and loves Her so much. I usually try to give us some extra time, because I know She'll want to roll over and go back to sleep at least once (those of you who've read my blog will know about the "Snooze" trigger, and 'Wake Up Call' was based on a true story...) But that time we spend together like that is its own form of intimacy, its own expression of love and devotion. It is tender, it is warm, and it is just one of the ways that I show Her I love Her. And the soft, not-yet-awake murmurs She shares with me are one more way She shows me She loves me back.
It's probably best to begin by mentioning that She is a very heavy sleeper. This is actually quite a useful thing at a con, of course, because most of them are not known for their restful and tranquil qualities. But it's also hard on Her, because once She does fall asleep, Her body is expecting to stay asleep for a full eight hours, if not more. (A rare, but exceedingly blissful luxury, is when the two of us sleep in each other's arms for ten or eleven hours.) She might set Her mind to wake up in four hours to take in a panel, but when She's in the middle of a sleep cycle, that's not easy for Her to pull out of.
Which is where I come in. It's my duty to continuously provide Her with stimulus that She can't ignore, helping Her find Her way out of the fog of sleep. And it has to be gentle stimulation, too. Absolutely has to. When She first wakes, Her conscious mind isn't fully engaged; She is dealing with events on a very primal level. Being abrupt or startling Her is very disturbing to Her, and although She will wake relatively quickly, the sensation of subconscious panic lingers for hours. I could never do that to Her, and anyone who does will have to deal with the wrath of a pudgy, balding thirty-something. :)
So what I try to do is gently and tenderly wake Her with constant contact, both physical and mental. I pet Her, I scratch Her back, I talk to Her in quiet tones...not always about anything specific, just letting Her know that the person who is with Her is someone who cares about Her deeply and loves Her so much. I usually try to give us some extra time, because I know She'll want to roll over and go back to sleep at least once (those of you who've read my blog will know about the "Snooze" trigger, and 'Wake Up Call' was based on a true story...) But that time we spend together like that is its own form of intimacy, its own expression of love and devotion. It is tender, it is warm, and it is just one of the ways that I show Her I love Her. And the soft, not-yet-awake murmurs She shares with me are one more way She shows me She loves me back.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Hypnosis as Service
To some of you who don't know Lady Ru'etha well, that might have prompted a "Buh-WHA?!?" After all, this is a hypnokinky D/s relationship we're talking about here. I, in my role as submissive, have a duty to be a blank-eyed hypnotized thrall, and Lady Ru'etha, in Her role as dominant, would be downright irresponsible not to swing a pocketwatch in front of my eyes and entrance me into a deep, helpless trance.
But anyone who's ever heard Lady Ru'etha speak (as in, "give a talk about hypnosis", not just talk) will know that She's always said that only a very foolish hypnotist doesn't take advantage of the very useful tool that they know how to use very well. She has put it as, "Hypnosis is the tool. The relationship is the power exchange." She has made very sure that just about all Her pets know how to hypnotize Her, and when She wants to be hypnotized for purposes of relaxation or stress relief, it's just as much of a command as anything else She tells us to do.
Most of the time, it is as a sleep aid; the trip from trance into sleep is very slow and gentle, and pretty much everyone who's posted to this list has at some point "put Her to bed" by doing a long, slow induction with plenty of touch (She's very kinesthetic) until She's finally so drowsy that She nods right off. It's actually amazing how wonderful an experience it is as a submissive. You wind up going into a rapport trance, where you're going almost as deep as She is (I have, on occasion, fallen asleep right along with Her. Oh darn. :) ) There's the occasional pain relief as well (very useful for when She's feeling a little too sick to Her stomach to take pain meds) but mostly it's for the relaxation.
So yes, one of the many ways I'm serving my hypnotic Goddess is to hypnotize my Goddess. Don't worry, it all makes sense...after a while. :)
But anyone who's ever heard Lady Ru'etha speak (as in, "give a talk about hypnosis", not just talk) will know that She's always said that only a very foolish hypnotist doesn't take advantage of the very useful tool that they know how to use very well. She has put it as, "Hypnosis is the tool. The relationship is the power exchange." She has made very sure that just about all Her pets know how to hypnotize Her, and when She wants to be hypnotized for purposes of relaxation or stress relief, it's just as much of a command as anything else She tells us to do.
Most of the time, it is as a sleep aid; the trip from trance into sleep is very slow and gentle, and pretty much everyone who's posted to this list has at some point "put Her to bed" by doing a long, slow induction with plenty of touch (She's very kinesthetic) until She's finally so drowsy that She nods right off. It's actually amazing how wonderful an experience it is as a submissive. You wind up going into a rapport trance, where you're going almost as deep as She is (I have, on occasion, fallen asleep right along with Her. Oh darn. :) ) There's the occasional pain relief as well (very useful for when She's feeling a little too sick to Her stomach to take pain meds) but mostly it's for the relaxation.
So yes, one of the many ways I'm serving my hypnotic Goddess is to hypnotize my Goddess. Don't worry, it all makes sense...after a while. :)
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Backsies!
Last week, I talked about how much I enjoy giving Lady Ru'etha footrubs, foot massages, and generally worshiping Her feet with the sort of generalized unconscious effortlessness that accompanies doing something you've been brainwashed to do. But it's occurred to me that by discussing the wonderful, joyous, mindless bliss I get from rubbing Her feet, I've neglected the far greater pleasure I (and She) get when I rub Her back!
Understand, Lady Ru'etha is kinesthetic. She experiences the world most strongly, and relates to it best, through the sense of touch. She is a sensualist, and the connection we share through touch is a very primal and vital one. As a result, pretty much whenever we are in physical space, we touch. We touch to establish that connection between us, we touch because She loves to be touched and it feels good, and we touch because I know it makes Her happy and I am deeply conditioned to please Her. As a result, whenever you see us, I have my hand on Her back--through Her clothes, under them or against Her deliciously bare skin--and I'm lightly and gently petting Her.
"Light" is the key word; She's used the word "butterfly touches" to describe Her ideal sensation. Fingernails are also good, but again, light scratches. If you leave marks, you're doing it wrong. Motion is important, too. The hand should roam over the entire back, including the buttocks, and should never stay in one place for long. (Occasional ventures around to the belly are okay but not great.) Kisses can and should be liberally sprinkled in with the scratches and rubs.
This is something I don't consciously think about when I'm petting Her, of course. I literally don't think about petting Her at all. My brain does not need to involve itself in the process; the action of reaching out and touching Lady Ru'etha is as automatic and instinctive as breathing. So what makes this the action of a pet? It is instinctive because She has conditioned me to perform the behavior to the level of instinct. Years of hypnosis and training have made me Her pet that pets, as it were. And I wouldn't want it any other way.
Understand, Lady Ru'etha is kinesthetic. She experiences the world most strongly, and relates to it best, through the sense of touch. She is a sensualist, and the connection we share through touch is a very primal and vital one. As a result, pretty much whenever we are in physical space, we touch. We touch to establish that connection between us, we touch because She loves to be touched and it feels good, and we touch because I know it makes Her happy and I am deeply conditioned to please Her. As a result, whenever you see us, I have my hand on Her back--through Her clothes, under them or against Her deliciously bare skin--and I'm lightly and gently petting Her.
"Light" is the key word; She's used the word "butterfly touches" to describe Her ideal sensation. Fingernails are also good, but again, light scratches. If you leave marks, you're doing it wrong. Motion is important, too. The hand should roam over the entire back, including the buttocks, and should never stay in one place for long. (Occasional ventures around to the belly are okay but not great.) Kisses can and should be liberally sprinkled in with the scratches and rubs.
This is something I don't consciously think about when I'm petting Her, of course. I literally don't think about petting Her at all. My brain does not need to involve itself in the process; the action of reaching out and touching Lady Ru'etha is as automatic and instinctive as breathing. So what makes this the action of a pet? It is instinctive because She has conditioned me to perform the behavior to the level of instinct. Years of hypnosis and training have made me Her pet that pets, as it were. And I wouldn't want it any other way.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Shoeses and Feetses
The important thing to understand is, I don't have a foot fetish.
I mean, I am aware that feet exist, and I am convinced of their undeniable importance. If our legs ended in stumps, the human race would probably not have conquered Everest. (It's a bold statement, but I think you'll agree.) But beyond appreciating their usefulness for purposes of walking, running, and making bold sock-based fashion statements, I've never really cared much about them one way or the other.
But it is safe to say I have a Lady Ru'etha fetish.
I love to worship Her. I love to touch and pet Her beautiful body, from the top of Her oh-so-kissable head to the tips of Her gorgeous toes. If Her feet are in front of me, I find myself unconsciously reaching out to caress them, to rub and scritch and occasionally kiss. Sometimes I'm not even aware I've done it until I look down at what my hands are doing to realize that they've spent the last five minutes lost in a trance of foot worship, and that the warm fuzzy feelings I've been having are from that and not just from being near Her.
When Her feet need deeper attention, I'm happy to get out the lotion and spend long and happy whiles rubbing the cream into Her feet until they glisten. I get absolutely lost in the ritual of pampering Her, not really thinking at all except perhaps to notice how blissful and aroused I'm becoming through the act of foot worship.
Even the simplest, everyday foot attention is an act of service to Her: When we go out, I go and get Her shoes and slip them on Her feet for Her, both of us knowing full well that She is perfectly capable of performing this act Herself but that it is a sign of how deeply and thoroughly She owns me that I do it for Her without being told. Nobody even notices, but to us, it is a sign of our deeper relationship as Goddess and pet.
So yes, I don't have a foot fetish. But from watching me with Lady Ru'etha...you probably wouldn't know it.
I mean, I am aware that feet exist, and I am convinced of their undeniable importance. If our legs ended in stumps, the human race would probably not have conquered Everest. (It's a bold statement, but I think you'll agree.) But beyond appreciating their usefulness for purposes of walking, running, and making bold sock-based fashion statements, I've never really cared much about them one way or the other.
But it is safe to say I have a Lady Ru'etha fetish.
I love to worship Her. I love to touch and pet Her beautiful body, from the top of Her oh-so-kissable head to the tips of Her gorgeous toes. If Her feet are in front of me, I find myself unconsciously reaching out to caress them, to rub and scritch and occasionally kiss. Sometimes I'm not even aware I've done it until I look down at what my hands are doing to realize that they've spent the last five minutes lost in a trance of foot worship, and that the warm fuzzy feelings I've been having are from that and not just from being near Her.
When Her feet need deeper attention, I'm happy to get out the lotion and spend long and happy whiles rubbing the cream into Her feet until they glisten. I get absolutely lost in the ritual of pampering Her, not really thinking at all except perhaps to notice how blissful and aroused I'm becoming through the act of foot worship.
Even the simplest, everyday foot attention is an act of service to Her: When we go out, I go and get Her shoes and slip them on Her feet for Her, both of us knowing full well that She is perfectly capable of performing this act Herself but that it is a sign of how deeply and thoroughly She owns me that I do it for Her without being told. Nobody even notices, but to us, it is a sign of our deeper relationship as Goddess and pet.
So yes, I don't have a foot fetish. But from watching me with Lady Ru'etha...you probably wouldn't know it.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
What Lady Ru'etha and I Did Last Night
We looked at furniture!
No, wait, come back, this is really a post about D/s, I promise!
See, one of the things that Lady Ru'etha has been looking forward to, for quite some time now, is the chance to buy a small round table that She can use as Her altar. (Not to Herself, or anything. She's pagan, and this is part of Her religious studies.) We'd had our eye on a nice little table, but we were waiting until the time was right to get it. This Friday looked like just the right time...except that I was scheduled to work overtime until after the furniture store had closed.
But I had made a promise to Her that we were going to get that table no later than Friday. It was a promise made by me, in my official capacity as lover and pet to Lady Ru'etha, and I don't take those things lightly. (And not just because She owns me, either.) So I spent my lunch hour on Friday driving out to the furniture store to pick up a lovely little round table...
...which was sold out. "Sorry," they said. "We had a couple in stock a few months ago, but they were one-of-a-kind items and they're gone." This was officially Crushing News. After all, I'd promised a table, and I was not going to be able to deliver. The rest of the day passed in a haze of misery (okay, that's hyperbole. It passed in a haze of misery, chit-chat with my co-workers, hard work, and the occasional giggle at Diana Wynne Jones' "The Tough Guide To Fantasyland".) And finally I came home and broke the news to Lady Ru'etha.
Who took it in stride. After all, it was just a table. (I tend to forget that She's actually a very sweet, easygoing person when I have trouble doing things for Her.) But nonetheless, when I suggested we go look around at other furniture stores, She jumped at the chance. We spent the next couple of hours pricing tables at different places, and finally took home a very nice white table that She will happily decorate. So I managed to serve Her after all, She got Her table on Friday, and we did it together!
I love a happy ending.
No, wait, come back, this is really a post about D/s, I promise!
See, one of the things that Lady Ru'etha has been looking forward to, for quite some time now, is the chance to buy a small round table that She can use as Her altar. (Not to Herself, or anything. She's pagan, and this is part of Her religious studies.) We'd had our eye on a nice little table, but we were waiting until the time was right to get it. This Friday looked like just the right time...except that I was scheduled to work overtime until after the furniture store had closed.
But I had made a promise to Her that we were going to get that table no later than Friday. It was a promise made by me, in my official capacity as lover and pet to Lady Ru'etha, and I don't take those things lightly. (And not just because She owns me, either.) So I spent my lunch hour on Friday driving out to the furniture store to pick up a lovely little round table...
...which was sold out. "Sorry," they said. "We had a couple in stock a few months ago, but they were one-of-a-kind items and they're gone." This was officially Crushing News. After all, I'd promised a table, and I was not going to be able to deliver. The rest of the day passed in a haze of misery (okay, that's hyperbole. It passed in a haze of misery, chit-chat with my co-workers, hard work, and the occasional giggle at Diana Wynne Jones' "The Tough Guide To Fantasyland".) And finally I came home and broke the news to Lady Ru'etha.
Who took it in stride. After all, it was just a table. (I tend to forget that She's actually a very sweet, easygoing person when I have trouble doing things for Her.) But nonetheless, when I suggested we go look around at other furniture stores, She jumped at the chance. We spent the next couple of hours pricing tables at different places, and finally took home a very nice white table that She will happily decorate. So I managed to serve Her after all, She got Her table on Friday, and we did it together!
I love a happy ending.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Driving as Service
It's a minor thing, something that someone who wasn't attuned to the...unique...aspects of my relationship to Lady Ru'etha wouldn't even notice. But I drive Her just about everywhere whenever we're in the same physical space. I'm not the only person on this blog to perform that service, of course; anyone reading our various accounts of NEEHU2 will no doubt spot the subtle thread of driving winding its way through the narrative.
The reasons for this are sometimes boring and mundane (Goddess' knees ache after long stints of driving, She's still fairly new to the area and sometimes I know the way better than She does) but even this morning, when She was driving a short route that She knew perfectly well, and even when it would be more convenient for Her to drive Herself so She would have the car all day, I still felt slightly strange not driving Her there and then driving Her back. It makes me feel good, knowing that I'm getting my Goddess to someplace She needs to be, allowing Her to slough off the stress of navigating and handling traffic so She can focus on whatever it is She needs to do at my destination. It makes me happy when She reaches over and massages the back of my neck while I drive, an unspoken connection that shows Her ownership of me without needing to say anything. It makes even a very ordinary, common experience into something extraordinary, because it's an act of service to Her.
Which is just one of the things that's so wonderful about being in a D/s relationship.
The reasons for this are sometimes boring and mundane (Goddess' knees ache after long stints of driving, She's still fairly new to the area and sometimes I know the way better than She does) but even this morning, when She was driving a short route that She knew perfectly well, and even when it would be more convenient for Her to drive Herself so She would have the car all day, I still felt slightly strange not driving Her there and then driving Her back. It makes me feel good, knowing that I'm getting my Goddess to someplace She needs to be, allowing Her to slough off the stress of navigating and handling traffic so She can focus on whatever it is She needs to do at my destination. It makes me happy when She reaches over and massages the back of my neck while I drive, an unspoken connection that shows Her ownership of me without needing to say anything. It makes even a very ordinary, common experience into something extraordinary, because it's an act of service to Her.
Which is just one of the things that's so wonderful about being in a D/s relationship.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Pleasure of Service and Service of Pleasure
It's been interesting these last couple of weeks; I finished up a temporary contract right before NEEHU, and have been at loose ends until very recently. This has meant that my service to the Goddess has been in the form of duties around the household and lining up another assignment, and just generally doing whatever She tells me to. It's that last one that was most interesting the other day--She commanded me to offer Her my pleasure. (This is kind of the advantage to having the house to myself during the day. So long as the shades are drawn, nobody's going to mind what I do.)
I wound up putting a DVD into the player, an old one I bought before I became Hers, and watching it on the couch. Actually, it didn't do much for me anymore...after years of reading and writing erotica, going to kink cons, and being in a full-time D/s relationship 24/7, just watching two women have sex is kind of bland. :) (Some people claim that you can get "desensitized" to porn and wind up needing more extreme forms to satisfy your desires; I think it's just that once you find your specific turn-ons, generic porn is less attractive. Someone whose personal hot button is two women with a strap-on is never going to be all that excited about het porn, no matter how "extreme" it gets. Everyone's got a kink, and everyone thinks everyone else's kink is "a little weird". :) )
Ultimately, though, I wound up thinking of Goddess when I came. I usually do; the things She does to me are hotter than most of the fantasies I read about, because they've really happened. I thought about Her eyes, the way they capture me...Her touch, the way it sends me deeper...Her words, the way they sink into my mind...by the end, I was chanting Her name and my eyes were open but unseeing. Then, as commanded, I texted Her with the message, "i have obeyed".
Then I took a little nap. Because you know, doing the work of the Goddess really takes it out of you. :)
I wound up putting a DVD into the player, an old one I bought before I became Hers, and watching it on the couch. Actually, it didn't do much for me anymore...after years of reading and writing erotica, going to kink cons, and being in a full-time D/s relationship 24/7, just watching two women have sex is kind of bland. :) (Some people claim that you can get "desensitized" to porn and wind up needing more extreme forms to satisfy your desires; I think it's just that once you find your specific turn-ons, generic porn is less attractive. Someone whose personal hot button is two women with a strap-on is never going to be all that excited about het porn, no matter how "extreme" it gets. Everyone's got a kink, and everyone thinks everyone else's kink is "a little weird". :) )
Ultimately, though, I wound up thinking of Goddess when I came. I usually do; the things She does to me are hotter than most of the fantasies I read about, because they've really happened. I thought about Her eyes, the way they capture me...Her touch, the way it sends me deeper...Her words, the way they sink into my mind...by the end, I was chanting Her name and my eyes were open but unseeing. Then, as commanded, I texted Her with the message, "i have obeyed".
Then I took a little nap. Because you know, doing the work of the Goddess really takes it out of you. :)
Monday, May 9, 2011
Writing as Service
In a blog that is, fundamentally, about the different ways we serve our Goddess, I feel like it's worth mentioning that writing this blog entry is an act of service in and of itself. In fact, looking back, a lot of my service to Lady Ru'etha has involved writing; it's what originally brought us together, back when I was just writing erotica as a "writing exercise" and She sent me fanmail.
Then, when we were friends/something more than friends/involved but not sure how, She continued to encourage me to write. I have never made it much of a secret that my erotica isn't the only stuff I write by any means; I have a vanilla blog that would almost certainly have gone completely fallow if not for Her constant encouragement and support.
And when we finally decided that I would be Hers and submit to Her as Her pet, She encouraged and commanded and inspired me to write more erotica, while still helping me stay disciplined with my other writings. Sometimes I haven't had the energy or the time to write, but She's always continued to give me the inspiration, the encouragement and the enthusiasm to write more. She's been a devoted fan as well as an object of my devotion, and today's entry is just another offering to my Goddess. So if you like my writing, you have Her to thank for it.
If you don't, you have me to blame.
Then, when we were friends/something more than friends/involved but not sure how, She continued to encourage me to write. I have never made it much of a secret that my erotica isn't the only stuff I write by any means; I have a vanilla blog that would almost certainly have gone completely fallow if not for Her constant encouragement and support.
And when we finally decided that I would be Hers and submit to Her as Her pet, She encouraged and commanded and inspired me to write more erotica, while still helping me stay disciplined with my other writings. Sometimes I haven't had the energy or the time to write, but She's always continued to give me the inspiration, the encouragement and the enthusiasm to write more. She's been a devoted fan as well as an object of my devotion, and today's entry is just another offering to my Goddess. So if you like my writing, you have Her to thank for it.
If you don't, you have me to blame.
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