2005, Now In Sepia Tones

Goddess gave me a pass on blogging the week before last, but that's long since used up. Get back to work!

As I first sat down to write this, the radio was playing Foreigner's "Feels Like The First Time." Aside from being a pretty good Jukebox story, the song somewhat topical, because as I sort through memories of trance, I keep coming back to one of my earlier ones, which isn't so much sexy as it was life-changing.

When I first met Her, I was in university. Pretty soon most of my spending money was going into calling Her -- no, I wasn't paying Her, the long distance plan on the campus dormitory phone service just sucked that bad. You'd think that given how much we paid to live there... luckily, VoIP clients were starting to come into their own at the time. Anyhow, I wasn't Hers right away, we didn't even do trance play at all until we'd been talking for a couple of weeks.

When I first started playing with trance, I'd get to feeling puffy and bloated... but not in a negative way, if that makes any sense. I think it was about being more aware of what my body was doing in the moment, and more signal must mean there's more body. Or something. It took a while to realize that the fact I don't feel that anymore doesn't mean I'm not going as deep into trance, it means I'm getting more accustomed to how I feel when I'm in trance.

What was I talking about? Right. Trance memories. So after a while She offered to make me Hers and after some careful consideration I accepted. And early on, She planted a suggestion to, now and again, as long as it wasn't distracting, be particularly aware of the fact that I was Hers and feel good about that.

And there I was sitting up in the back row of a half-empty lecture amphiteatre, dutifully jotting down notes from the overhead projector when I suddenly realized I didn't need to be writing down this particular material because I knew it already. I could give my tired brain and wrist a break until we moved on to something I didn't know.

And I was Hers. And it was good to be Hers. And there was a little squirming in the chair, and that was okay because I was just another faceless student taking notes and nobody was paying attention. And everything felt GOOD. And I sat there and daydreamed that I was back in my dorm room passively listening to Her voice in the headset, and She was telling me to imagine that I was with Her in person (which wouldn't actually happen for another six months or so) and there was holding skin-on-skin...

Until I picked up on cues that the prof was wrapping up the lecture. Then, BAM, focused again taking notes on reading and homework, because focusing when I needed to focus was also part of Her commands (something I've let slip in the years since!).

Then I went to the computer lab and wrote Her an email (on an eMac!), which is something I did on a fairly frequent basis back then. :)

If I remember right, I got a 'B' in that course, too.

A Trance Memory of the Goddess

It happened a couple of years ago, back when I still worked nights and I still worked weekends. I had a Sunday night shift where the only person in the building was me and not nearly enough work to fill an eight hour shift, and She knew it.

She put me under that evening, before I came in to work, and told me that every once in a while that night, I would feel Her fingers brushing the back of my neck and it would make me shiver in pleasure and remember how deeply Her control held me, how owned I truly was.

Now keep in mind, we had never actually experimented with sensory hallucinations. A lot of hypnokinky people play with it regularly, but apart from the good old-fashioned orgasm trigger, we hadn't done much of anything with the "you will see/hear/feel this sensation." I was actually semi-worried that when we did get to it, I wouldn't be able to do it. But that was the last thing on my mind when She commanded me that night.

Instead, I found out that at least when it came to tactile hallucinations, I was a natural. Every touch felt so real that I could swear She was there, every shudder of delight got stronger and stronger as the night went on. By morning, I was literally sinking to my knees with each tremor of bliss that passed through me, my legs no longer desiring to support me as I gave in to the feeling and the knowledge that all this came from Her.

Of course, my subconscious was in complete control of the process; if someone had come in unexpectedly, or if I had work to do, my own sense of safety would have prevented the command from kicking in. But to my conscious mind, the touches were unpredictable, delicious, and intense. We've had many lovely experiences since then, and will have many more. But this one was special in its own way.

Favorite Trance Memory - Sleepykitten

Honestly, 2 moments come to mind.

September 2007: The last night of Dragon Con. I'd just met Lady Ru'etha a few hours before at the hypnosis panel. Then we all spent a few hours shooting the breeze and those of us who were new were beginning to get to know everyone. I step out to run to the restroom. When I leave the restroom, I see a pair of excited, mischievous eyes and Her sweet, beautiful voice drops me into trance. She holds me and tells me how happy She was to meet me and how She had been wanting to play with my mind all night long. She then tells me, in that "you are *GOING* to do this" way that She seems to have, that when I return to the hotel room, I will find myself aroused and thinking of Her. I will relieve myself while whispering as quietly as possible that "obedience is pleasure." (Yes, my eyes did just flutter and I shivered. Why do you ask?) At that point, I was Hers. No question about it.

Fast forward just shy of 4 years later.

May 2011: We all are in Connecticut for NEEHU2. I had volunteered to be an appetizer server for the meet and greet mingling time opening the con. My Lady sends me to the kitchen to wait for whatever they want to send me out with to serve everyone. I get a tray of stuff and start offering it to folks. As I approach Her table, She excuses Herself, and suddenly, Her eyes and voice are the only thing in the room. I drift down and serve Her by serving others. Every time I pass Her, She deepens the trance. Bouncing back and forth from light to deep trance definitely felt wonderful, but not as wonderful as Her praise as I obeyed.