On Waking

Last time, I posted about the ways I help Lady Ru'etha to sleep. (Hint: Hypnosis is involved.) This time, though, I'd like to talk about the flip side of that--waking Her up. This is especially relevant since we were at a sci-fi con last weekend, and She frequently had to get up on very short sleep.

It's probably best to begin by mentioning that She is a very heavy sleeper. This is actually quite a useful thing at a con, of course, because most of them are not known for their restful and tranquil qualities. But it's also hard on Her, because once She does fall asleep, Her body is expecting to stay asleep for a full eight hours, if not more. (A rare, but exceedingly blissful luxury, is when the two of us sleep in each other's arms for ten or eleven hours.) She might set Her mind to wake up in four hours to take in a panel, but when She's in the middle of a sleep cycle, that's not easy for Her to pull out of.

Which is where I come in. It's my duty to continuously provide Her with stimulus that She can't ignore, helping Her find Her way out of the fog of sleep. And it has to be gentle stimulation, too. Absolutely has to. When She first wakes, Her conscious mind isn't fully engaged; She is dealing with events on a very primal level. Being abrupt or startling Her is very disturbing to Her, and although She will wake relatively quickly, the sensation of subconscious panic lingers for hours. I could never do that to Her, and anyone who does will have to deal with the wrath of a pudgy, balding thirty-something. :)

So what I try to do is gently and tenderly wake Her with constant contact, both physical and mental. I pet Her, I scratch Her back, I talk to Her in quiet tones...not always about anything specific, just letting Her know that the person who is with Her is someone who cares about Her deeply and loves Her so much. I usually try to give us some extra time, because I know She'll want to roll over and go back to sleep at least once (those of you who've read my blog will know about the "Snooze" trigger, and 'Wake Up Call' was based on a true story...) But that time we spend together like that is its own form of intimacy, its own expression of love and devotion. It is tender, it is warm, and it is just one of the ways that I show Her I love Her. And the soft, not-yet-awake murmurs She shares with me are one more way She shows me She loves me back.