Five People Who Mean A Lot

Here is my list of five people/groups who mean a lot to me, in no real order, and occasionally grouped.

1- M'Lady and Her other Chosen. All of you mean so much to me. i really, really wish i could spend more time with all of you. i wish one day we could all be a lot closer to each other in RL.

2- Retheldirood. You're my roommate, and at this point, you're more of a sibling than anything else.

3- my parents. As much as we've sometimes fought, and as far away as i am now, i do still love you both.

4- Setzer. You're still my best friend, and i'm looking forward to fighting alongside you in Diablo III and SW:TOR, and some day playing Warhammer with you again.

5- The PolyCoffee group. Even though i've not been in a couple of weeks for varied reasons, it's good to actually be able to hang out with friends.

Five People Who Mean A Lot (In No Particular Order)

It feels a little unfair, trying to figure out which five to include. I think I might have to cheat, put them into groups just to get in everyone I want to put on the list. And also, because this is a kink blog, to keep things vague enough that I don't detail anyone so carefully that they recognize themselves or someone else recognizes them. :)

5. My family. I have a big, wonderful extended family I almost never feel like I see enough. A wonderful mom and dad, great brothers and sisters, amazing grandparents that still impress me even in their 90s, astonishing nieces and nephews, cousins that make every family reunion a delight...I love the family I have made, and I wouldn't give them up for anything, but I am blessed to have a biological family that I love to be with, as well. And because I know this, I want to make sure that the people who I have invited into my family know that joy of unconditional love as well.

4. My friends. I have been blessed to make a lot of good friends over the years, people that I share memories both silly and important with, people who remain very important to me even though I see them less and less as family takes up more and more of my time. It never takes more than a moment for us to reconnect, and then it's as though all the years fall away and we're laughing all over again. I hope I'm a friend like that to others, too.

3. Foxy. If you know who she is, you'll know why. :)

2. Squiikitoi. What we have is new, I don't think either of us necessarily know where it's leading, and I often feel like I don't show her enough how much I care. But she is wonderful, gloriously random and uninhibited, and also a smart and caring person who works herself hard for the things she wants. She is passionate about everything, and to know her, even for a moment, is to fall under her spell to some extent.

1. Lady Ru'etha. When I wrote 'Love Like Winter' with thrall, and I was searching for the words Carly would use to describe to Renata why she was willing to sacrifice herself to save Abby, I thought of how I felt about Lady Ru'etha. (For those of you who haven't read 'Love Like Winter', just go with me here.) And what I wrote was, "She's my everything." Lady Ru'etha is my everything. There's nothing else to say.

Seven Things That Cross My Mind Often

Worries:

1. The end of cheap and plentiful energy. "Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow... but soon, and for the rest of your life."
   
   • I work air traffic; there won't be any. What else can I learn to do with the time I have?
     
   • How will I keep a home warm? Will there still be asthma inhalers & stomach acid meds? What am I gonna EAT? Dear gods, what will I do when nobody's importing COFFEE?!
   • What do I need to consume less of now, to buy more time to adapt?
     
   • The idea of being isolated away from my family is scary (especially in some of the places I've lived!); how can I retain the ability to make one last trip to rejoin them if I need to?
     
   • I'm not one of these end-of-the-world survivalists, I don't want to stockpile and hoard to last a little while. I want to use this time to get ready to produce things I need, in a way I can sustain for a long time.
     
2. How can I balance my work and family life? Barring the above, work will provide me with health coverage and a survivable retirement, but it keeps me so far from my family. (There may be progress on this in the near future, and it's been on my mind a LOT in the last 48hr)
   
3. How will I make sure I stay healthy enough for any of the long-term worries to matter?
   
4. Where did I put my _____? I just saw it a minute/hour/day/week ago.
   

Joys:

5. I have an awesome wife who loves me, and I want to be worthy of that.
   
6. Watching my daughter develop is so damn cool.
   
7. Space? Space! SPAAAACE! Also science.
   

Five people who mean a lot to me (in no order whatsoever)

This one is a bit difficult for me as by only listing five people, I'm leaving so many others out and I don't like that. But in some ways, this post gives me a chance to give recognition to people in my life that I may not give enough recognition for the things they've done that have helped me or because they're special to me and may not realize it. Some of the people on this list probably won't be able to see this list. Maybe I can show them someday.

Sleepykitten- You're one of my girlfriends and that means you are super special in and of itself. I love you dearly and I only want to see you succeed and be happy. I love to hear about your "adventures" ;) and I love to hear about everything in your life because I'm not able to be a part of the day-to-day bits, even though I'd truly love to be. You are amazing and wonderful and simply just awesome. We may not get the chance to connect nearly enough, but always remember that I am thinking of you. The picture that pops up with my login screen on my computer is of a kitten and every time I see it, I think of you.

Lyinar- You are my WoW companion. You help keep me linked into something that while I'm happy I don't play it anymore, I sincerely miss it. You give me someone that I can rant with about everything to do with it and you understand what I mean when I say things like OMGWTFMAJORGNOMEBBQ. I loved the miniature you painted for me and I love seeing all the miniatures you've created before and since. I enjoy seeing the excitement in you when you talk about something you truly enjoy. Please know that I think about you even when you may not realize it and I can't wait to see you reunited with M'Lady for more than just a visit.

Hypnobunny- I met you at NEEHU earlier this year and have kept in frequent contact with you since then. I know that hypnobunny isn't your nickname but it's how you were introduced to me and so that's how I'll refer to you here because it's so very accurate, although I think our last discussion made you into a hypnobearbunny which is just so freaking cute it still makes my brain asplode every time I think about it. I owe you big time for the trip that is about to be made and I don't think there's any way possible I could repay you for it. I will do my best though. I look forward to seeing what the future holds in store for our relationship and I can't wait to see you again.

My 7th grade literature teacher- You taught me about poetry. You opened the door for a creative subject that I didn't know before then I would love so much. In doing this, you have helped me to express myself in ways that I would otherwise not have been able to utilize. I've kept in touch with you throughout the years and you have been my mentor in some ways, even though you may never realize it. You accepted me at a time when no others did. There is no way I can tell you just how much that means to me. You were a light in a time when I was surrounded by utter blackness and helped me to keep moving when I would have otherwise halted and curled up within myself. You helped me stand up for myself in ways that would not be shown for years to come. I hope I've made you proud over the years.

Mini-me- How could I not include you in this list? Out of everyone that could have been mentioned, you will never know just how much you mean to me. I love you with all my heart and I want you to have nothing but the best. You will have the mother I never had, even if I'm not the best, and you will know you are loved. You will have opportunities I did not and now matter how tough times may be, I will ALWAYS be there for you. I am so happy that you are in my life. Never did I imagine that I would be this happy with you here. There are times when I'm frustrated by something you do or you may do something that upsets me, but never ever ever will I regret having had you. I realize how lucky I am to have you and I thank the stars every day for you.

As I said above, there are so many others I could add to this list. Maybe I'll occasionally do this list again, with new people included so that eventually some day everyone can be on the list. That'll take a long time. LOL

Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

Notes:
1. Since I took *WAY* too long to finish the last post, I will do this one now.
2. Obviously, I will be using nicknames when possible. ^_^
3. Cutting it down to a mere 5 people would leave out too many. So I will group them.
4. This is by no means a comprehensive list.


1. My kink family. Lady Ru'etha, Jukebox, CopperHeron, Twinklie and Lyinar. (I would feel like I was cheating if I didn't group them together, lol.) Extended family counts too, such as Sleepy_Head, Retheldirood, Katie LBT. I don't know Merryweather well enough yet, but my Lady trusts and loves him, and that's good enough for me.

2. The person who's been in my life the longest, Nana. (pronounced Nay-Nay). She in particular has kept me real and laughing at life, even when things were darkest. I don't talk to her nearly as often as I would like to, but the moment one of us calls the other, it's like no time has passed whatsoever and we pick up right where we left off.

3. My older sister. When she and I first met, it was an almost instant connection. Then I moved in with her for a while to recuperate after a particularly nasty time, and we became friends. She's overcome a lot and found happiness, and has one of the most beautiful families I know.

4. Jaya, Lilikka, Raven, and Jtgqos - each of them has touched my life in a particular way

5. Pensacola was a damn good time for me. I made a lot of friends there who hold a very special place in my heart. Stephie, Chaaaarrrrrrliiieeeeee, Anton, Rodney, Lindsey, etc.. Long list is long. These guys rallied around me during a *VERY* scary time for me and made it so amazing, I can never thank them enough.

Six things you wish you’d never done

1. I wish I hadn't let my parents have such strong influence. Toxic people are toxic, even if they are blood.

2. I wish I'd never met a particular ex. There were no good memories of our time together, and she hurt me the worst of all of them.

3. I wish I'd never gone to the local comic book shop on a particular day. My eagerness to get my fix led to one of the darkest moments in my life.

4. Of all the years I have been in school, there was only once where I truly regretted missing homework. Because of it, I was forced to miss out on a field trip to a local museum.

5. I wish I hadn't stopped my HRT when I was on it before.

6. I wish I hadn't quit my hotel job. It was the best job I've had yet.

6 Things i Wish i'd Never Done

This is something of a difficult topic for me now... A few years ago, i'd have had this filled out easily, but, the mistakes i made have shaped me as much as the things i've done perfectly, if not more. As Cary Elwes once said, "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."

i won't really say i wish i'd never done these things, because i wouldn't be who i am now if i hadn't, but, there are things i've regretted:

1: Thinking college would be just like High School, and not studying hard to stay there.

2: Somewhat related to the first, not getting in shape back when i was in college.

3: Something of a less-serious one, but trying to watch the Star Wars Holiday Special without the help of Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett.

4: Also less-serious, losing my best cloak.

5: How the only real relationship i've had outside M'Lady's group ended.

6: Hurting M'Lady and Waya the way i did.

6 Things I wish I'd never done

This is a particularly difficult post for me to write. I don't see things as things I shouldn't have done. More often than not, I see them as lessons learned; things that have helped me grow. That doesn't mean there are lessons I didn't really want to have learned the way I learned them though.

1. I wish I'd never met someone and given him the time that I gave him. He didn't deserve my time and I didn't deserve the pain he gave me. I lost my ease to trust because of him (being what it was prior to my meeting him that is).

2. I wish I hadn't been stupid enough to remove my seat belt and not put my car in park before I reached out to had my neighbor money that time. That was a difficult lesson that I should not have had to learn. Sometimes I'm not as smart as I like to pretend.

3. I wish I had never gone to that party I was invited to by my co-workers that time. I should have followed my gut instinct.

4. I wish I had never went out to meet that  person that one time. Another time when my gut instinct proved to be right and I didn't listen.

5. I wish I had not slacked off in high school and actually done my work in those classes.

6. I wish I had not waited to turn in my letter to that apartment complex when I decided I would be moving out. It was another lesson on learning when not to trust others.

7 Things That Cross my Mind

1: Hypnosis. As with the previous blog post, it's kind of an obvious thing. i LOVE being hypnotized, and i can honestly say that i have very few fantasies that don't involve it in some way.

2: Warhammer, both 40k and Fantasy. For several years, the main flashes of inspiration i've gotten have been for new armies or new conversions for models in the settings. About half of the books in my personal library are from GW's novel branch, the Black Library (and given that i have most of the Discworld books, all of Harry Potter, all of the Wheel of Time to date, and all but one of the Dresden Files books at this point, among others, that's saying a *LOT*). There's a reason why, in any gaming group i could put together, i'm the only one who groks the settings enough to run an RPG in either.

3: Gaming. There are a lot of video games that i have that i enjoy playing, and quite a few coming out between now and the middle of next year.

4: Worrying about money. Unfortunately, i'm still in the process of getting back on my feet financially. Should be fully there by the end of the year, at least, barring any catastrophes, of course.

5: Fixing computers. Mostly because it's my job, but, well, i'd not have chosen it as my job if i hated it. The user icon for my PC at work is an Adeptus Mechanicus symbol from Warhammer 40k, because it pretty well fits.

6: General Geekery. my brain is full of memes from Star Wars, Doctor Who, Rifftrax, Leverage, Pirates of the Caribbean, Lord of the Rings, the Dresden Files, the Wheel of Time, Brandon Sanderson's books, Stargate, World of Warcraft, and many, many more fandoms.

7: M'Lady. i posted here before about how so many things in my life can be directly or indirectly traced to Her, and it still holds true.

Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

1. How much I love hearing my loved ones being happy. (Especially when they make little happy noises!) I firmly feel that joys are multiplied when they are shared.

2. What ways have I pleased my Goddess lately and what ways have I yet to do. She has a standing set of orders for me, which I keep a pretty close eye on, not to mention trying to find little things to make Her happy.

3. What is there to entertain me? I have a small iPod Touch (8Gb is pretty small to me lol), I love to read and chat with people. It's pretty easy, to be honest. Just keep a steady stream of stuff going. It's my need, and I think I do a pretty good job of it.

4. Play and kinky stuff. In short, I want more. I'm still pretty inexperienced.

5. Hypnosis. I love the feeling of letting go and blatantly not being in control for a while.

6. How much the doctor will rant at me once I finally get insurance (done!) and make an appointment. (Coming soon!)

7. I wish I was much more creative. I know a lot of artists in various mediums (music, art, writing, etc) and I admire them so. I dream of being able to walk alongside them.

Six Things I Wish I'd Never Done

6. Looking back, I probably shouldn't have stuck my finger into that bear's mouth. (On the other hand, I do have to admit that it's pretty damned awesome that I can start a conversation about regrets with the sentence, "Looking back, I probably shouldn't have stuck my finger into that bear's mouth.")

5. Kept my mouth shut about the behavior of another player on a MUSH I was once on. He absolutely ruined a TP I had started by not showing up at the last minute for a key scene, and then claimed it was because I'd railroaded him into the plot without his permission. I had logs showing the opposite, but I never showed them to anyone because I thought it would be better not to cause a huge flamewar. Instead, the flamewar happened later over something else, and I wound up having a lot less fun MUSHing after that. Wasn't worth backing down over.

4. Oddly enough, I shouldn't have been so helpful at my last job. There were people there who took advantage of my good nature, and once I stopped doing their work as well as my own, my bosses finally took notice that the problem wasn't, "Boy, he seems really cranky all the time," but instead was, "Wow, we have a total waste of space working in this department who also manages to be a total asshole."

3. I probably shouldn't have dropped out of college. It's a decision I can still change my mind on, of course, and I do only have one class left to get my degree, but I think I should have gutted out that class at the time. My responsibilities have only made it harder to finish things.

2. I shouldn't have started one of the book projects I did. I know they say, "Never regret the things you did, only the things you didn't do," but I spent a lot of money on research materials and never did get anything saleable out of it. In retrospect, I probably would have made a bigger profit if I'd never started the damn thing. :)

1. I really wish I hadn't spent so much time away from Lady Ru'etha. We spent about five years as "just friends" because I somehow thought I was doing Her a kindness by not telling Her how much I missed Her and loved Her and cared about Her. Looking back, it was nothing but stupid, and the happiest day of my life was when we got back together again. No, that's not quite right. The happiest days of my life began when we got back together again. And while I'm too happy to regret anything very much, this is one of the few things I would change if I could do it again.

8 Ways to win my heart.

1. Keep talking, even if I'm quiet; when I've got something to say, let me say it.
2. Read cool science-y stuff and geek with me about it. (Space? Space! SPAAAAACE!!)
   
3. Show interest in my hobbies and projects, even when I jump from one to the next.
4. Make me feel like we're not just happy now, but will be in the future too. Make plans.
   
5. Take care of me when I'm sick, let me do the same for you.
6. Music. Classic rock, 80's top-40, and Canadian content.
   
7. Cuddle close when it's time to cuddle, but I need room when it's time to sleep.
8. Ask me why stuff works the way it does, and if I don't know, find out and teach me.

I saw your shadow, you were dancing at the feet of the Moon.

7 Things That Cross My Mind A Lot

1. Sex. Lots of sex. (I did mention I like it and am a sexual person, right?)

2. Hypnosis. It's a fascinating subject to me and one I sorely wish I could gain more experience with and have more fun with.

3. My schoolwork. To say that schoolwork takes up a good chunk of my time is a significant understatement right now... I'm always keeping track of what is due for which class, when it's due and wondering what I made on that test or essay I had to turn in that I don't have a grade for yet.

4. Role-playing games (as in DnD type games). It's a major component of friends time that happens every other week for me and we're always talking about it in one form or fashion or another. Yep. I'm the token gamer chick in my group.

5. My family. This includes not only my non-kinky family but my kinky family as well. I actually consider most of my kinky family more my family than almost anyone related to me by blood.

6. Work. Seriously. I'm there 8.25 hours a day. Some of the stuff I have to deal with at work can be pretty serious and unfortunately I'm not the type that can just drop home life for work and work life for home. If I've had a bad day, it lingers. I am always trying to figure out how I can do better and what it would take to get a job I truly love in a way that I can afford the change. I'm not having much luck on that one...

7. Me. I won't deny it. I am probably a bit narcissistic inside. I'm always contemplating my reactions to things. I'm constantly wondering if there's someway I could do better at something or with someone or whatever. That or I'm trying to figure out ways to make things work with what I have. I marvel at how lucky I've been in my life and how things could have turned out differently.

Eight ways to win my heart

1. Be physical: touch me, hold me, rub my back, stroke my hair. Nothing makes me feel more loved than receiving physical contact.


2. Sometimes I act like just one of the guys, but I'm always a girl at heart. Flowers, taking me out to dinner, opening doors, stuff like that. (Someone who was once special to me made me cry because the first time we met in person, she gave me a big plush rose - plush is *SO* much better than a real flower, IMO)

3. Be up front. I don't get subtlety well. If you like me or something I do, tell me and tell me often. Same if you don't like something I do. (Just be gentle with that last part.)

4. Be genuinely interested in some of the same things I am. I like being able to geek out with someone over things.

5. Where we differ, push me to at least try it, but do it gently. I'll give something a few tries before I decide how I feel about it.

6. Some days, I just want to do nothing and goof off. Join me, because things are better when they are shared.

7. Chaos is a part of my life. Being able to deal with it gracefully and going with the flow will go a long way towards keeping things sane.

8. Accept me as I am. I am slow to change, but I am trying to get better.

Seven Things That Cross My Mind A Lot

Disclaimer: Anyone who ever thought I was a tremendously deep thinker is about to be utterly disabused of that particular notion. :) Although I will say that for obvious reasons, I'm leaving politics off this list. Anytime anyone starts talking politics, it quickly becomes difficult to discuss anything else. That said, and in no particular order (except for number one)...

7. Politics. Okay, I won't leave it completely off the list, but I won't say what they are. All I will say is that they cross my mind at least once a day, and that it's hard to get my mind off of them once it's on the topic. It is frustrating to me to think that there are people who "don't care about politics", given that every aspect of your daily life is decided by the men and women in Washington. Even the decision to keep their nose out of something is still a decision that affects you.

6. Writing. A lot of each day is spent either writing, scheduling writing, lamenting lack of time for writing, or (yes, I'm egotistical) being proud of writing I've done. (Or ashamed. I'm also a perfectionist.) I think about the process, I come up with ideas, I jot things down...it's a big part of my life and it always will be.

5. City of Heroes. Yes, shallow. But it's a lot of fun to play, and it's an outlet for my creativity that doesn't come out in my writings. It's a nice, mellow fantasy where all you have to do is keep doing things and you can't help but make progress, and all you need to do to make money is beat people up. What's not to enjoy?

4. Comics. Specifically, the fact that DC and Marvel have both lost their direction as companies. As children's publishers, they sold millions of copies. When they gave up on kids to pursue an adult audience, millions turned into tens of thousands. Why they continue to market to a demographic that isn't into their product, while ignoring a huge audience that consumes their movies, cartoons and merchandise, is a topic of perpetual discussion in my head.

3. Work. I try not to talk too much about my job, because hello, kink blog, but it's interesting in a way that you really wouldn't expect if I just told you what I did for a living. You'd be surprised to find out how many weird things happen in what sounds like a very dull industry that I won't name, and I'm perpetually amazed at the things my job throws at me each day.

2. Star Wars. I try to insist I'm not a big fan, but that's almost a part of why I think about it more than Doctor Who (which I unquestioningly adore...) I'm always trying to deconstruct the films in my head, look at new angles from which to think about them. It's the kind of game you can't play with something you really love, because you're too reverent to really tear into them. But Star Wars is good enough that I'm interested, while not being so good that I'm afraid to think about what's wrong with it.

1. I really, really, really love my Goddess.

8 Ways to Win my Heart

1: Hypnosis. Kind of a giveaway on that one.

2: Intelligence. i really, really like people who actually LIKE learning.

3: Geekiness. Having books or TV shows or video games that you're inordinately passionate about is rather hot to me, especially if you're willing to exchange memes and fandoms with me. By that, i mean get me interested in something you like, and get interested in something i like.

4: Cuddling. Cuddling is such a wonderful thing that it's hard for me to even describe how much i like it.

5: BDSM, especially sensation play.

6: Having a sense of humour. Any will do, but bonus points if it's actually somewhat compatible with mine

7: Being open-minded. It's a lot easier to get close with someone who is at least willing to accept that the path you're on is a valid path for you.

8: Treating me like i'm worthy of being loved. Touching, caressing, kissing, snuggling... just being sensual in general.

8 Ways to Win My Heart

I've been thinking about this one since I wrote last week. It's more difficult than I though it would be to write seeing as how this isn't something I usually contemplate.

1. Don't push me. And I'm not talking about physically pushing (because sometimes that can be fun... ;) ) but pushing by telling me I "HAVE" to do something or that I "NEED" to do something. Let me make the decision on my own, but be there for me when I ask for advice on whatever topic is that I'm trying to make a decision on.

2. On a similar note as above, when I've made my mind up about a decision, support me. Support me even if you don't agree with it. I'm stubborn and hardheaded. Sometimes the only way I learn is by falling flat on my face. What will prove to me that you love me/care about me is by not standing in my way, but standing at my side and helping me back up when I do fall down.

3. Touch me. Be sexual with me. In my mind, someone not wanting to touch me, be close to me, snuggle me or be sexual in some fashion means they don't care for me. I know this is a skewed way of thinking, but there you have it.

4. Reaffirmation. Don't stop telling me you love me. Don't stop telling me you want to be around me, care about me, etc. If I don't hear it said, I can sometimes forget that it's true. It's silly but that whole "out of sight, out of mind" thing is all too true with me.

5. Play games with me. Video games, board games, card games, bedroom games. I LOVE playing games. I'm not so much on competition. I love playing games with others who aren't concerned so much about who wins but having fun with each other. It's about interacting with each other.

6. Open the doors for me. In some respects I am very much a girly girl and I love being treated like a girl. I may not always act like a lady, but having someone open the door for me and do other things to treat me like a lady always makes me feel special.

7. Read what I write and tell me what you think of it. And I don't just mean as in "I like it." Tell me what you liked best, or perhaps gently let me know how I can improve. Showing to me that you've read what I've written means you pay attention and you really want to get to know me better.

8. Cook for me. It doesn't have to be anything super incredibly difficult. Sometimes an excellent grilled cheese sandwich with a bowl of tomato soup (with some garlic powder and parmesan cheese ;) ) can be a wonderful thing. And it tastes just that much better when I know it's been made with me in mind.

9 Things About Me

These are by no means the nine most important things about me, they're just nine things. ;)

1. I am not a martial artist. I really liked iaido when I did it, but that was years ago.
2. I am an infrastructure-heavy guy. When infrastructure fails -- power, communciations, water, roads, whatever -- I get really upset. Not just angry, but shaken.
   
3. I eat tofu. Eating tofu does not make me a vegetarian! Tofu is just one of the many protein-y options I eat because I enjoy, along with chicken, beef, red-fleshed fish (like salmon), eggs, and sometimes beans.
   
4. I take vacations with purpose. My vacations involve going somewhere to DO something, like visiting friends and family or going to a convention. Going to Mexico for a week of sun/sand/surf doesn't interest me much when I could go fly rockets with my daughter instead.
   
5. When someone says that it's a good thing I have no sense of smell because I don't have to smell such-and-such stinky thing, it takes effort to not feel hurt. Nobody ever says that to blind or deaf people.
   
6. When people tell me I am a geek as if it were an insult, I'm not hurt AT ALL. Damn right, I'm a geek! I like being a geek! I wish everyone could enjoy how cool the world is.
   
7. I have been a fantasy roleplaying gamer for 15 years... and I still haven't read Tolkien.
8. I don't own an iron. The last time I wanted to iron and fold a dress shirt, I was in a hotel room... and I watched how-to videos on my laptop first.
9. Because of the practice I was doing at the time, I feel I was a better driver in 2004 than I am now. (Or maybe I only felt that way because I was in my early 20's back then, and therefore invincible!)