8 Ways to win my heart.

1. Keep talking, even if I'm quiet; when I've got something to say, let me say it.
2. Read cool science-y stuff and geek with me about it. (Space? Space! SPAAAAACE!!)
   
3. Show interest in my hobbies and projects, even when I jump from one to the next.
4. Make me feel like we're not just happy now, but will be in the future too. Make plans.
   
5. Take care of me when I'm sick, let me do the same for you.
6. Music. Classic rock, 80's top-40, and Canadian content.
   
7. Cuddle close when it's time to cuddle, but I need room when it's time to sleep.
8. Ask me why stuff works the way it does, and if I don't know, find out and teach me.

I saw your shadow, you were dancing at the feet of the Moon.

7 Things That Cross My Mind A Lot

1. Sex. Lots of sex. (I did mention I like it and am a sexual person, right?)

2. Hypnosis. It's a fascinating subject to me and one I sorely wish I could gain more experience with and have more fun with.

3. My schoolwork. To say that schoolwork takes up a good chunk of my time is a significant understatement right now... I'm always keeping track of what is due for which class, when it's due and wondering what I made on that test or essay I had to turn in that I don't have a grade for yet.

4. Role-playing games (as in DnD type games). It's a major component of friends time that happens every other week for me and we're always talking about it in one form or fashion or another. Yep. I'm the token gamer chick in my group.

5. My family. This includes not only my non-kinky family but my kinky family as well. I actually consider most of my kinky family more my family than almost anyone related to me by blood.

6. Work. Seriously. I'm there 8.25 hours a day. Some of the stuff I have to deal with at work can be pretty serious and unfortunately I'm not the type that can just drop home life for work and work life for home. If I've had a bad day, it lingers. I am always trying to figure out how I can do better and what it would take to get a job I truly love in a way that I can afford the change. I'm not having much luck on that one...

7. Me. I won't deny it. I am probably a bit narcissistic inside. I'm always contemplating my reactions to things. I'm constantly wondering if there's someway I could do better at something or with someone or whatever. That or I'm trying to figure out ways to make things work with what I have. I marvel at how lucky I've been in my life and how things could have turned out differently.

Eight ways to win my heart

1. Be physical: touch me, hold me, rub my back, stroke my hair. Nothing makes me feel more loved than receiving physical contact.


2. Sometimes I act like just one of the guys, but I'm always a girl at heart. Flowers, taking me out to dinner, opening doors, stuff like that. (Someone who was once special to me made me cry because the first time we met in person, she gave me a big plush rose - plush is *SO* much better than a real flower, IMO)

3. Be up front. I don't get subtlety well. If you like me or something I do, tell me and tell me often. Same if you don't like something I do. (Just be gentle with that last part.)

4. Be genuinely interested in some of the same things I am. I like being able to geek out with someone over things.

5. Where we differ, push me to at least try it, but do it gently. I'll give something a few tries before I decide how I feel about it.

6. Some days, I just want to do nothing and goof off. Join me, because things are better when they are shared.

7. Chaos is a part of my life. Being able to deal with it gracefully and going with the flow will go a long way towards keeping things sane.

8. Accept me as I am. I am slow to change, but I am trying to get better.

Seven Things That Cross My Mind A Lot

Disclaimer: Anyone who ever thought I was a tremendously deep thinker is about to be utterly disabused of that particular notion. :) Although I will say that for obvious reasons, I'm leaving politics off this list. Anytime anyone starts talking politics, it quickly becomes difficult to discuss anything else. That said, and in no particular order (except for number one)...

7. Politics. Okay, I won't leave it completely off the list, but I won't say what they are. All I will say is that they cross my mind at least once a day, and that it's hard to get my mind off of them once it's on the topic. It is frustrating to me to think that there are people who "don't care about politics", given that every aspect of your daily life is decided by the men and women in Washington. Even the decision to keep their nose out of something is still a decision that affects you.

6. Writing. A lot of each day is spent either writing, scheduling writing, lamenting lack of time for writing, or (yes, I'm egotistical) being proud of writing I've done. (Or ashamed. I'm also a perfectionist.) I think about the process, I come up with ideas, I jot things down...it's a big part of my life and it always will be.

5. City of Heroes. Yes, shallow. But it's a lot of fun to play, and it's an outlet for my creativity that doesn't come out in my writings. It's a nice, mellow fantasy where all you have to do is keep doing things and you can't help but make progress, and all you need to do to make money is beat people up. What's not to enjoy?

4. Comics. Specifically, the fact that DC and Marvel have both lost their direction as companies. As children's publishers, they sold millions of copies. When they gave up on kids to pursue an adult audience, millions turned into tens of thousands. Why they continue to market to a demographic that isn't into their product, while ignoring a huge audience that consumes their movies, cartoons and merchandise, is a topic of perpetual discussion in my head.

3. Work. I try not to talk too much about my job, because hello, kink blog, but it's interesting in a way that you really wouldn't expect if I just told you what I did for a living. You'd be surprised to find out how many weird things happen in what sounds like a very dull industry that I won't name, and I'm perpetually amazed at the things my job throws at me each day.

2. Star Wars. I try to insist I'm not a big fan, but that's almost a part of why I think about it more than Doctor Who (which I unquestioningly adore...) I'm always trying to deconstruct the films in my head, look at new angles from which to think about them. It's the kind of game you can't play with something you really love, because you're too reverent to really tear into them. But Star Wars is good enough that I'm interested, while not being so good that I'm afraid to think about what's wrong with it.

1. I really, really, really love my Goddess.

8 Ways to Win my Heart

1: Hypnosis. Kind of a giveaway on that one.

2: Intelligence. i really, really like people who actually LIKE learning.

3: Geekiness. Having books or TV shows or video games that you're inordinately passionate about is rather hot to me, especially if you're willing to exchange memes and fandoms with me. By that, i mean get me interested in something you like, and get interested in something i like.

4: Cuddling. Cuddling is such a wonderful thing that it's hard for me to even describe how much i like it.

5: BDSM, especially sensation play.

6: Having a sense of humour. Any will do, but bonus points if it's actually somewhat compatible with mine

7: Being open-minded. It's a lot easier to get close with someone who is at least willing to accept that the path you're on is a valid path for you.

8: Treating me like i'm worthy of being loved. Touching, caressing, kissing, snuggling... just being sensual in general.

8 Ways to Win My Heart

I've been thinking about this one since I wrote last week. It's more difficult than I though it would be to write seeing as how this isn't something I usually contemplate.

1. Don't push me. And I'm not talking about physically pushing (because sometimes that can be fun... ;) ) but pushing by telling me I "HAVE" to do something or that I "NEED" to do something. Let me make the decision on my own, but be there for me when I ask for advice on whatever topic is that I'm trying to make a decision on.

2. On a similar note as above, when I've made my mind up about a decision, support me. Support me even if you don't agree with it. I'm stubborn and hardheaded. Sometimes the only way I learn is by falling flat on my face. What will prove to me that you love me/care about me is by not standing in my way, but standing at my side and helping me back up when I do fall down.

3. Touch me. Be sexual with me. In my mind, someone not wanting to touch me, be close to me, snuggle me or be sexual in some fashion means they don't care for me. I know this is a skewed way of thinking, but there you have it.

4. Reaffirmation. Don't stop telling me you love me. Don't stop telling me you want to be around me, care about me, etc. If I don't hear it said, I can sometimes forget that it's true. It's silly but that whole "out of sight, out of mind" thing is all too true with me.

5. Play games with me. Video games, board games, card games, bedroom games. I LOVE playing games. I'm not so much on competition. I love playing games with others who aren't concerned so much about who wins but having fun with each other. It's about interacting with each other.

6. Open the doors for me. In some respects I am very much a girly girl and I love being treated like a girl. I may not always act like a lady, but having someone open the door for me and do other things to treat me like a lady always makes me feel special.

7. Read what I write and tell me what you think of it. And I don't just mean as in "I like it." Tell me what you liked best, or perhaps gently let me know how I can improve. Showing to me that you've read what I've written means you pay attention and you really want to get to know me better.

8. Cook for me. It doesn't have to be anything super incredibly difficult. Sometimes an excellent grilled cheese sandwich with a bowl of tomato soup (with some garlic powder and parmesan cheese ;) ) can be a wonderful thing. And it tastes just that much better when I know it's been made with me in mind.

9 Things About Me

These are by no means the nine most important things about me, they're just nine things. ;)

1. I am not a martial artist. I really liked iaido when I did it, but that was years ago.
2. I am an infrastructure-heavy guy. When infrastructure fails -- power, communciations, water, roads, whatever -- I get really upset. Not just angry, but shaken.
   
3. I eat tofu. Eating tofu does not make me a vegetarian! Tofu is just one of the many protein-y options I eat because I enjoy, along with chicken, beef, red-fleshed fish (like salmon), eggs, and sometimes beans.
   
4. I take vacations with purpose. My vacations involve going somewhere to DO something, like visiting friends and family or going to a convention. Going to Mexico for a week of sun/sand/surf doesn't interest me much when I could go fly rockets with my daughter instead.
   
5. When someone says that it's a good thing I have no sense of smell because I don't have to smell such-and-such stinky thing, it takes effort to not feel hurt. Nobody ever says that to blind or deaf people.
   
6. When people tell me I am a geek as if it were an insult, I'm not hurt AT ALL. Damn right, I'm a geek! I like being a geek! I wish everyone could enjoy how cool the world is.
   
7. I have been a fantasy roleplaying gamer for 15 years... and I still haven't read Tolkien.
8. I don't own an iron. The last time I wanted to iron and fold a dress shirt, I was in a hotel room... and I watched how-to videos on my laptop first.
9. Because of the practice I was doing at the time, I feel I was a better driver in 2004 than I am now. (Or maybe I only felt that way because I was in my early 20's back then, and therefore invincible!)

Eight Ways to Win My Heart

It's worth mentioning that these are in no particular order. I don't pretend to know my own heart well enough to prioritize it. I think this is probably the first time I've ever tried to figure out what it even likes. :)

8. Like my writing. It's shameless egotism, I know, but my writing is an expression of myself. Saying that you like it tells me that you understand me.

7. Enjoy vegging out. For me, a lot of the best times I've spent with friends and family don't involve going someplace special and doing some kind of grand, organized activity; just hanging out and watching TV or playing games can be fun if you do it with the right people. I'm very happy to say I know a lot of the right people.

6. Read a lot. One of the ways that Goddess makes me happiest is that She enjoys reading, She reads very quickly, and She and I can really discuss what we read together on an intellectual level. She appreciates subtext and symbolism, She's terrifyingly smart, and I really feel like I can converse with Her as an equal about books we both like.

5. Backrubs. Hey, I'm no dummy. :)

4. Understand my sense of humor. I don't necessarily ask you to share it; my sense of humor was shaped by my grandfather, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and the Muppets. This means that it is generally strange and bent towards bad puns. If that makes you cringe, you're probably not the person for me.

3. Top me. I have very rarely had a relationship in which I wasn't at least a little subby at times. It makes me feel happy to do nice things for people, and if that shades a little bit into D/s, then so much the better.

2. Make me feel wanted. Lady Ru'etha's greatest gift as a person is that She has a knack for making you feel special, loved, and desired. I didn't get much of that before Her, and it was a wonderful experience having it happen. There are a lot of important things I do that probably would have fallen by the wayside without Her encouragement.

1. Don't be afraid to be informal. I like simple food, I dress comfortably, and I don't do much formal entertaining. I like to feel as though it's okay to simply be myself, and I love people who like to simply be themselves too, whatever those selves happen to be.

9 Things of Myself

1: i used to fight parts of my soul, and back before i had actually grown up, it made me seem a bit, well, emo. i've learned to accept all of who i am now, and even the worst parts of me have had a purpose in my life, and in some cases have saved it. In accepting the good and the bad (and the parts of me that lots of people have problems reconciling that don't really fall under either), i've gained a measure of control over the worst parts, and peace with the seemingly mutually-exclusive parts.

2: i have met so gorram many cool people at DragonCon that i genuinely pity those who have never been, and i long to return almost as much as i long to be with M'Lady again (which, as my brothers and sisters in Her service know, is saying a hell of a lot). Seriously, my personal calendar used to begin and end on Labor Day weekend.

3: i'm not actually jealous of my roommate's skill at painting miniatures. After all, i taught him over the course of weeks the skills that took me years to figure out on my own. He's still got the same problem the Simpsons has in catching up with Doctor Who, though, because i keep learning and trying new things. i am a bit envious, though, just because he actually HAS a teacher, and i never did.

4: Sometimes i wish i could write like i used to. It seems like a large amount of my inspiration has gone from writing to converting and painting miniatures, and coming up with campaigns for RPGs i may or may not ever get a chance to run.

5: At work, i put up a sign i made by hand using my l33t calligraphy skills that says "Welcome to the (Company Name) Service Desk. Let the Lord of Chaos reign!", and wrote, translated into Icelandic by Google and written in proper Futhark, "Claimed by Loki" on the whiteboard. Neither have been taken down so far. Given what we've experienced in getting started up, i'm not surprised.

6: Big surprise here to anyone who knows me (sarcasm? me? NO! :p), but i actually like cuddling and doing other, more interesting things, such as hypnosis, bondage, flogging, etc., more than sex.

7: When i listen to music, i feel a need to actually learn and understand the lyrics, and will actually stop listening to otherwise awesome music if i don't like them. i'll also listen more to music whose lyrics i like than to that with lyrics i'm indifferent to. Which puts "I Am The Walrus" in a very weird place for me, separate from the weird place everyone ELSE puts it in.

8: While most of the video games i like tend to have a fair amount of violence in them (i do love several games set in the Warhammer 40k setting, after all, and the Total War series of historically-based wargames), i do greatly respect the makers of the Tony Hawk games and Portal and its sequel for demonstrating that you could have MASSIVELY awesome games without a single bit of real violence in them. i do wish they'd bring the Tony Hawk games back to when they didn't suck, though.

9: i LOVE rollercoasters, even though i'm still pretty scared of heights... Possibly because of it, actually. i've ended up riding an inverted rollercoaster (with your feet dangling and a safety-harness dropping down from above you, with heavily padded bars on either side of your head) and asking my companion, because i was too high on adrenaline to be properly coherent, "Do your eels fear warm?", when i meant "Do your ears feel warm?" i'm PROUD to have ridden two different rollercoasters that were the tallest in the world when i rode them, including the first to top 300 ft.

Nine Things About Me

1. I love playing skeeball. It's my favorite game to play whenever I go to Chuck E. Cheese's or any kind of arcade or carnival that has it.

2. I have an insatiable love for older horror films (primarily 60's-early 80's). Anything involving werewolves and vampires especially although pretty much anything involving the supernatural can fall into this area too. Key examples: Love at First Bite, Count Yorga, Vampire, High Spirits and Howling (all of them).

3. I didn't walk in my high school graduation. I won't go into the reasons why but I ended up having to take a summer class to finish and so the school wouldn't let me walk. It sucked. Badly.

4. I often don't speak about my wants and desires when it comes to a personal level when dealing with someone because I'm scared of being hurt and I want to please the other person. It's hard for me to remember that sometimes being pleasing means letting others know what I want and need from them. Asking for what I want means that I am opening myself to the possibility of it actually happening which equates to vulnerability for me. The usual feeling is that it's better not to open that door than to do it and be hurt. I'm working on changing this mindset and not letting myself be hurt when things don't turn out as I'd wish with those I am close to.

5. I learn things by doing. I have to have my hands into whatever it is I'm learning in order to retain the information. If I can't picture it in my head, I can't grasp the concept. Which is really funny considering that I'm going for my degree in accounting.

6. I once rode the Freefall at Six Flags 5 times in a row. I couldn't walk after it because I was dizzy from the adrenaline rush.

7. I sprained my neck when I was 4. I know from personal experience that jumping on a bed can be hazardous. I was lucky I didn't get hurt any worse.

8. I have an affinity with animals. I have had animals that won't bond with others bond with me and cause people to look at me with mouths dropped when it happens. Most of these times I didn't even know the animal was like that. An example- I had a wild frog when I was younger that would eat bugs out of my hand.

9. I know how to play a piano. Kind of. I had to quit piano lessons before I truly knew how to play. One of my goals is to complete learning how to play someday.

Nine things about yourself

1. I am *RIDICULOUSLY* touch and scent oriented. Snuggling up to someone who smells good is heaven to me.
1a. "Smells good" means their natural smell for the most part. Artificial scents don't do much for me.
2. Despite not being visually oriented, I can easily get lost in a book or video.
3. Speaking of, I have an absolutely horrid sense of time. I could be doing something like taking a shower and swear that only 10 minutes have passed, only to find it's a lot closer to 30. (Which makes timing myself difficult. If you see me looking at my phone a lot, there's a 50/50 chance that I'm actually trying to make sure I'm not taking too long.)
4. I am very much a cat. I love to wander, explore, play and get into things. However, I also know where my home and loved ones are and will always come home. The flip side is that it also means I'm easily distracted by things.
5. I never forget my debts. I may not handle them as well as other people do (or wish I did), but they are always there in my mind.
6. I don't think I ever developed jealousy. If I see someone happy when I'm not, I don't want to take it away from them. I may not show it well (especially when I'm not in a good headspace), but I love when people are happy.
7. I identify with and love children. They are absolutely precious and need to be protected and cared for. However, I plan to never have any of my own. My mental state is too off to raise one right, and I'd never risk inflicting things done to me on a child. That being said, I love to romp and run and play silly little games.
8. My life is almost unrecognizable from what it was 10 years ago. It wasn't the big things like 9/11 that changed me, either. It was personal things like betrayals and acceptance from unexpected places.
9. I do my best to be 100% up front and honest with people. I may not always be good at doing it tactfully, but I consider lying to be dishonorable, and a true stain on the soul.

10 things to 10 people

... is this thing on?

1. I miss you like crazy. I wish our schedules worked together more often.

2. You too.

3. And you.

4. You are a bigger piece of my soul than you can possibly ever know. And you know a LOT. You know me better than anyone else; there is a reason I chose you as the first recipient of the biggest secret of my life.

5. You make me laugh so much. You have no idea how wonderful you are.

6. Thanks for everything.

7. I miss you more than I could ever tell you.

8. 11 years after your death, you are still the finest, greatest, most wonderful man I ever knew, and you were taken from this world years too soon. You would be so proud to see the woman I've become.

9. You're weird! I like weird!

10. Your child will grow up in a home of love and awesome music. I can hardly wait.

9 Things I Like About Me

Or at least, 9 things I think are interesting about me. :)

9. I once stuck my finger in a bear's mouth. (In my defense, it was a very young bear. I only wound up with bruises instead of a missing finger.)

8. I haven't played in a while, but back in my college years, I spent a lot of happy hours on the 'Infinity' MUD. In retrospect, I wish I hadn't decided to become a wizard. I had very little interest in coding, but lots in playing.

7. I have an officially licensed Doctor Who short story in print. (Well, possibly still in print. I think the license changed hands now.)

6. I am a huge Mystery Science Theater 3000 fan; my favorite episode is probably "Zombie Nightmare", although "Space Mutiny" is a close second.

5. I remain, at this point, one credit shy of my college degree. It is still on my list of Things To Do.

4. I still have a scar on my right knee from an injury I sustained when I was thirteen, playing dodgeball on the beach. (I dove out of the way of the ball and skidded into a buried rock. The nearest hospital was a half-hour away and there were two groups of people before us in the emergency room with serious injuries. I am still proud of how well I handled the pain.)

3. I have a very strong stomach. I have not vomited since seventh grade.

2. I am one of the very few people who actually loved the hell out of "Kung Pow: Enter the Fist".

1. I don't like theme parks in general, but I love water parks. Schlitterbahn is a truly joyous experience that everyone should go to at least once.

10 things to 10 people

1. Fifteen years on, I will never be able to repay you two. But I'll keep trying. Like Hello Kitty says, I ain't no punk bitch.
2. Write another book or I'm going to chain you to your desk until you do. If I have to do that, though, I promise to keep you supplied with pizza and Coke.
3. I'm keeping you in my life. Forever and ever. One day, you'll believe that.
   
4. I don't think I'm the person you want me to be, but thank you for making me feel like I could have been.
   
5. I don't know, and finding out is scary.
   
6. I was looking at your photograph, couldn't help myself, I just had to laugh; I was drinking to you. I'll be thinking of you, thinking of me, thinking of you next time 'round.
   
7. I tried to keep an open mind. I tried not to let other peoples' stories about you colour my judgement. But I think you've shown that you're a lying, selfish, manipulative ass. I will interact with you with cold civility as required, but I refuse to play your games.
   
8. I wish you two could have seen the man that I became. I'd like to think you'd be proud, even where I've made choices you wouldn't.
9. You aren't yet capable of understanding the stupidities of this world when we inherited it, and explaining them to you is going to be fun. When you finally start to understand what this world was like then (it only took me 20 years), we'll laugh, or cry, probably both. Some of it is better now, some is a lot worse, but I think it's a net positive... though largely because many of the stupidities fell apart on their own, so it's not like we can take much credit. I promise to do my best to patch this world up a bit more before we hand it down to you. I hope there's enough left for you to enjoy when we're done with it.
10. Whatever I did to deserve You, I wish I knew, so I could do it again and again. Please keep me.