Self-care is not always as easy as it sounds

All of us have the standing order of self-care. And I find that order, of everything our Goddess has asked of me, to be the hardest one to intentionally follow.

I eat when I'm hungry, drink when I'm thirsty and sleep when I'm tired, yes. However, do I eat right? I don't know, but, if I had to guess, probably not. Do I get enough good sleep? Again, probably not. I pamper myself in little ways like She's suggested. I take long, hot showers, much to the chagrin of almost every roommate I've ever had. I try to keep my nails painted and nice-smelling stuff on me. Consistency, thy name is *NOT* Sleepykitten, though.

I see three things that make self-care much more difficult than it really should be. First, my attention is something that I've always had trouble focusing. Surprising for a hypno-sub, right? I find that I will get into reading, chatting, watching a video or whatever and I'll lose track of my personal needs. By the time I honestly realize I'm hungry, it's usually by the point where my stomach is very achey and I'm slightly off-kilter and need to eat *NOW.* Same with being thirsty or sleepy. To say I lack a daily routine would be an understatement.

Second, some of it is a money issue. My brain tends to bounce back and forth between spending like a kid with their parents' first credit card and feeling like a miser because I really should save. Buying body washes, face masques, etc.. at Lush feels like an expense I really shouldn't be taking. Getting my nails and hair done tends to be out of the question completely because those are really expensive, and my current job is hell on my poor nails anyway.

Third, there's that nagging part of my brain that keeps telling me there's no point. Some of you witnessed it in action a few times, such as Frolicon and even a little at NEEHU. It's slowly getting weaker, but it's still there. Time and starving it of attention and proof will help to finish returning it to the tiny voice that it should be, instead of the gargoyle on my shoulder.

They are improving on their own, in little ways. As our Lady's hours stabilize, however, I hope to work with Her to improve all of those issues, in order to serve Her better.