Communication and Long Distance Relationships

This was a topic that was brought up during Atlanta Poly Weekend. And we kinda almost took over that panel. M'Lady's group includes a lot of long distance relationships. I only have one relationship that isn't long distance. I've done it for pretty much as long as I've had relationships with anyone.

People that have never had a relationship like this wonder how in the world it can be done. They have everything right here. They can touch the person, smell them, hear them, and see them. The have the full gamete of communication. And even then, communication still often falls short of what the relationship needs to survive. Why do you think so many marriages end in divorce? There is a lack of communication and the couple ends up having a differing of opinions on some important subject that goes without being talked about until it creates a gap far to wide for either party to cross. Oh, there are other reasons as well, to be sure, but communication is one of the biggies.

When you take the regular difficulties in a regular relationship and then you stretch it across any length of distance, you find yourself in a whole different ball game. Suddenly you don't have the time together, you don't have the personal touch, taste or sight of the person you are "with". You have to deal with the loneliness of not having them at your side, over you, whatever.

So how do you keep the lines of communication open when you enter into a long distance relationship (herein known as LDR)? There are an untold number of ways. Each relationship will have it's own quirks that make it unique. Many people use chat programs such as Yahoo or Google Talk to keep up. Then there is video/audio chatting. Cell phones are a biggie with LDR's. Texting helps and when it comes to LDR's that span countries, phone programs such as Skype can be a tremendous help. Then there are the things that can be sent long distance. Cards and flowers can be ordered from afar. Even some foods can be ordered and/or shipped to a loved one somewhere else. Pretty much anything can be ordered online today, which helps greatly with surprise gifts.

Communication is even more in an LDR than a regular relationship because you don't have the advantage of being with the other person, in person. And it takes more work to make an LDR work. But even with all of the extra effort an LDR can take, the small bits of time spent in the personal space of your loved one can often be much sweeter than being with them 24/7. Often, this is because they treasure those moments with a passion that is hard to be rivaled. This also means that if/when the couple is able to be united due to one of the partners moving to the other, they tend to be willing to work harder to make the relationship last. Mind you this isn't always the case, but for the most part it is true.

I don't really know where I was going with this, but considering the amount of LDR's I have been/am involved in, each one has differed in the ways we kept each other close and in the ways that we let each other know we were thinking of them. It's very important to me that I know I am being thought of and to be reminded that I am loved. If reminders aren't given, even though I may "know" the other person cares for me, I will start to wonder anyway. That may be one of my faults, but it is still part of who I am. Everyone has something that is unique to them that they need from any type of relationship and for a romantic relationship, it is something I feel that I need. *smiles*