So.. I was trying to figure out what in the world I'm supposed to write here. It's supposed to be unique to this blog once a week. I shall endeavor to not bore anyone with my soliloquy. ;)
I know I've already posted one blog here. But that isn't all of the processing that needs to be done. I'm not sure exactly how much of it I feel comfortable sharing so I guess we'll see how it goes. But for now, let's get this sharpie writing.
I realized several things this weekend. The first of which is that I'm VERY picky about who I play with involving hypnosis. There were times when I would sit back and watch others playing but didn't feel comfortable enough to just go out there and say "HEY! BRING ON THE TRANCING!" This is probably due to one real reason which is too private for me to list here. I'm not going to apologize for it though because the people I DID trance with turned out to be some pretty fucking fantastic people. I didn't feel left out of anything because I chose not to participate.. Well... maybe I did, but only a tiny bit because I didn't see anyone available that I wanted to let trance me. But even if I did feel left out, it was towards myself, not against anyone that was playing, because it wasn't their fault. They were having fun. And that's important. Sometimes I get enjoyment just from watching others.
The next thing I learned is that I do have, as I called it, an upload bandwidth limit. And I learned where that is. I also learned how to release some of that energy to be able to handle more. Thank goodness I don't hit that limit often. I can think of one other time that has ever happened. I believe this happens because I do go for so long without having tremendous amounts of touch. So when I do get that much, my brain freaks out and doesn't know what to do about it. I think the answer to this is that I need to find someone that can help me expend the energy overload so that I can go back out there with a vibrancy and take on the world again. (You'll probably hear me say things like "I think" or "I believe" a lot in this post... :-P )
Something else I learned is that apparently I do energy play VERY well. And that I hold and give off a tremendous amount of energy. This subject starts to get into a very unfamiliar territory for me. I know what I do, but I don't have names for what I do. I just know that I enjoy energy play probably more than anyone else I've ever known. And I can handle a lot of it. At least that's what I've been told. This is an area of very high interest for me and something I really seriously want to learn more about. It would help if I had someone locally that I could work with... *sighs*
Ah well... That's about it for this round of self therapy. Until we meet again, dear friend. *curtsies and exits stage left*
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